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At 2:00 AM, the "Senior Aunties" sit in a circle. They are not gossiping; they are auditing. They calculate how much gold the bride's mother is wearing. They analyze the quality of the Pani Puri . This is not cruelty; this is the Indian family's GDP report. A good wedding means the family is "settled." A mediocre wedding means the family is "struggling."

But listen closely.